On the weekend a friend asked me what I though the definition of ‘Love’ was, to which I found I was not able to articulate a very informative answer. I said the best definition I had heard so far was from Choeying my Buddhist Nun friend so I decided to email Choeying and seek her wisdom on this matter……..

Hi Jeanette

Lovely to hear from you. 

This is a very big question that takes more than five minutes to answer so I have borrowed concepts from Thich Nhat Hahn who I believe is the world’s expert on love. Okay, Love has many parts and levels. 

However ,when trying to understand love we also need to contemplate what is NOT love. Most love we experience is clouded in attachment especially when our minds are obstructed by our delusions mostly, in this case our desire, passion etc. When we “fall in love” as they commonly say it is mostly due to our karmic connection with the other person and the delusions of desire and passion. We  deludedly think this passion will sustain our love forever and are devastated when it doesn’t. We don’t see that love is like a a beautiful garden – it only stays  vibrant and alive and beautiful with tender loving care,  nourishment and the understanding of the needs of the soil, plants etc. 

I have attached the rest as it is easier then typing on email. (download pdf here) Of course as always these are just intellectual concepts and are not very useful unless one meditates Firstly find self love and then the ability to love others. If we cannot love ourselves how can we possibly love anyone else. We will continually expect the “other’ to fill this loveless barron self and this is a recipe for destoying self love – we become a barron dessert thirsty for love  destined to a life of looking for love, “in all the wrong faces in all the wrong places” as the song goes! 

I hope you both benefit from this and may you meditate to find “self love” so abundant that you have no choice but to share this abudnace of love with others.

Love and prayers

Choeying
www.oddiyanadharmasanctuary.org